I Scream For Flame
by Queen Lucy The Valient
Summary: How an 11-year-old boy makes the Sorting hat swear to never again sort a Potter but dosn't know how he did it.
1. I Scream For Flame

**I Scream For Flame**

The Potter have a secret. Well It's not really a secret just no one outside of the family knew about it. Now it is well known that James Potter and Lilly Potter nee Evans had Harry Potter the Boy-Who-Lived and that Harry Potter married Ginny Weasley and that they had three kids James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter, and Lilly Luna Potter. And that Hermione Granger had married Ron Weasley and they had two kids Rose Weasley and Hugo Weasley. And so on and so forth. The world knew that James Sirius Potter had the same talent for pranking that his grandfather had and every one thought was that he was the leader of the new generation of muraders. It was of course expected after all he was named after two of them. But what no one knew was that the real leader and the one that had all the ideas was actually James' little brother Albus Severus Potter, even if he himself didn't know it.

From a young age Severus was able to get anything he wanted from his parents with just one look. He could get anyone to do what he wanted. Now if someone heard about this they would probably Severus was spoiled but in truth he wasn't. He was actually a very well mannered boy he never tried to get out of punishments even if he hadn't even done anything. He never used his special kicked-puppy-look-and-voice for anything he wanted only the things he really wanted. Like when he was eight and had found an abandoned a small kitten and had begged his parents to keep it. A lot of the adults except for his parents and Hermione thought it was because he was a goody-too-shoes, but his siblings, cousins, and god brother knew that it was actually that he didn't know he was doing it. Albus Severus Potter was a lot of things, childish, a crybaby, cunning, had a wild imagination, but he was also oblivious, very very oblivious, but he wasn't like other oblivious people who were oblivious to other people he wasn't. He was just oblivious to himself.

...

"Bye Sev'," Lilly said.

"What, no, 'bye' for other brother," James whined.

"No," Lilly stated. The 10-year-old crossed her arms childishly.

Severus gave his his a hug and bid her a farewell and then both boys clambered on to the train and went looking for a compartment.

Ten minutes later they had almost given up hope of ever finding a empty compartment when james opened one and they found they cousins 17-year-old Victoria, her sister 15-year-old Raven, and 11-year-old Rose with a blond haired 11-year-old boy. Severus had heard uncle Ron point him out earlier. He was Draco Malfoy's son Scorpius. Scorpius and Rose were in a heated argument about something.

"Oh hey James, Severus, sit down," Raven said. James and Severus sat down and closed the compartment door.

"Uuuuuhhhh, what are they fighting about," Severus asked.

"You got me," Raven said.

"It started when Rose said she hopped she would get into Gryffindor and then Malfoy said that she wouldn't then it went to which house was better than it escalated to who's parents were better," Victoria said.

"Wow," James said.

"Hey guys," Severus said as he waved a hand between the fighting pair.

"WHAT!?" they yelled simutaniously and glared at him. Severus shrank and held up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry," He said but they didn't hear him and went back to yelling at each other.

"Don't glare at my cousin," Rose said.

"You were doing it to," Scorpius stated.

"No, I wasn't,"

"Yes, you were,"

"Was not,"

"Was too,"

"Not,"

"Too,"

"Not,"

"Too,"

"Not,"

"Tooooooo,"

"HEY, stop it," Severus said.

"Hump," they both said and then crossed their arms and turned to the side.

"Finally some peace and quiet," James said. Rose and Scorpius turned towards each other again.

"Uuuuuugggggg," the other four said simultaneously.

"Five galleons says I can make the sorting hat scream," Rose said.

"Deal," Scorpius said as they shook hands.

...

"Potter Albus," Professor Sprout called.

Severus walked up to the stool and sat down on it, he closed his eyes and felt the hat fall over his eyes.

Not a peep was made as every eye was on the young Potter. Anticapation filled the air as they waited for the youngest Potter son to be sorted most people believed he would be in Gryffindor.

Five minutes later the Sorting Hat started screaming.

"SLYTHERIN. HE'S IN SLYTHERIN. JUST GET ME OFF HIS HEAD. I WILL NEVER EVER SORT ANOTHER POTTER AS LONG AS I LIVE. KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME,"

The whole Hall was silent. They were too shocked to say anything.

Severus just got off the stool and walked up too the Slytherin table and sat down next to Scorpius. As soon as he sat down the table erupted into unsure claps that soon became stronger.

Rose made her way to the Slytherin table and plopped down next to Severus.

"Here," Rose said as she and Scorpius handed Severus each 5 galleons.

"Huh, what's this for?" Severus asked.

"The bet. Remember on the train me and Rose bet five galleons to whoever could make the hat scream,"

"Yeah and you won," Rose said.

"But I wasn't trying to win," Severus said.

"Really, then how did you make it scream," James asked as he came out of nowhere.

"Well I wasn't trying too. I was just thinking about 'Step Up 2: The Streets' that lead to me thinking how much Hair spray would it take to get Moose's hair to turn into and afro, which than lead to me thinking how much hair spray would it take to get James' and Dad's hair to stay neat and straight, which than lead to me thinking what type of Hair spray would make for the best homemade Flame thrower, which than lead to me thinking how hot a Flame thrower would have to be to incinerate the Sorting Hat." Severus said.

"Did I do something wrong," Severus asked with his special kicked-puppy-look-and-voice.

**The End**

**So how did you like it. This idea just came to me.**

**Please review.**

**No Flaming please.**


	2. Authors Note

**I Scream for Flame**

**Author Note**

**I believe there has been some confusion. This story is not about how to confuse the Sorting Hat. It is about how oblivious Albus Severus Potter is. I mean come on the first two paragraphs are about how oblivious he is. He's the one that comes up with all the prank ideas yet he doesn't even know it. it's just an idea that I came up with on the spot. It's also a one shot for those that want to know. **

**Thank you for reviewing**

**Guest**

**littlegirlgonemad **


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